Counselling
What the work actually involves.
We start where you are, not where you think you ought to be by now.
Individual counselling
An hour to slow it down.
An hour to make sense of what you feel and what has been sitting heavily. You don't have to arrive with it neatly explained.
We look at the thoughts, then at what sits underneath them, then at the pattern that keeps coming round. The aim is that you stop bracing against your own life.
I work from a person-centred base and bring in cognitive behavioural and acceptance-based methods where they earn their place. Some sessions are reflective. Others end with something to try before we meet again.
Common reasons people come
- Anxiety and the mind that won't switch off
- Burnout, and running on empty for months rather than weeks
- Grief and endings that haven't been properly felt
- Work stress, or a role that stopped fitting somewhere along the way
- Perfectionism and the harsh internal voice
- Life transitions such as a new baby, a move, or a marriage changing shape
60 minutes · S$120
Couples counselling
The argument is rarely about the argument.
Most couples know the shape of their fight by heart and have no idea how to get out of it. We slow the cycle down until you can see what sets it off and what each of you is protecting.
The work is Gottman informed. We name the Four Horsemen when they turn up in the room. We practise a Softened Startup for the conversations that usually go badly, and use the Sound Relationship House to find which floor is giving way.
I don't take sides and I won't tell you who was right. The pattern is what we treat, and both of you have a hand in it.
One of you can start alone if the other isn't ready. That happens often and it still works.
What couples bring
- The same argument on repeat, and neither of you can say how it starts
- Distance that crept in slowly and now feels normal
- Trust that needs rebuilding after something broke it
- Resentment that has been quietly accumulating
- Parenting load that has become uneven
- Sex, money or the in-laws, and no way to raise any of them without it becoming a fight
90 minutes · S$220
Family and parenting
When the strain sits across the household.
Sometimes the difficulty isn't one person's to carry. A teenager has gone quiet and nobody knows how to ask. Two parents are pulling in opposite directions. A household is working out its shape again after an illness or a separation.
Family sessions look at how people in a household affect each other, not at who is causing the problem. We work out what each person needs in order to speak, and what everyone else needs in order to hear it.
Who comes to a family session
- Everyone in the household together
- The parents on their own
- A teenager, with or without a parent in the room
- One person first, then the rest once it is worth bringing them in
We decide which of these fits on the free call.
Fee depends on who attends and how long we need
How we work
A few things worth knowing.
Next step
Start with fifteen minutes.
Long enough to say what has been going on and work out whether this is the right kind of help.